Bracing For Mother’s Day

Tomorrow is Mother’s Day…a day to celebrate mothers of all kinds. It was very obvious today as we were out running some errands that many people were out buying flowers, gifts and cards and were excited about celebrating the holiday tomorrow. We also bought flowers and cards and will celebrate those special ladies in our lives tomorrow and I will be glad to do that. But I have a confession to make…I dread Mother’s Day now. I have dreaded Mother’s Day for 13 years now. That probably seems like an odd thing to say, but I lost my wonderful mother in June of 2006. And there’s just no way around it…Mother’s Day hurts. The first Mother’s Day without my mom was the worst…I wished there wasn’t such a day as Mother’s Day. In some ways, it’s not quite as hard now as it was then, but somehow it caught me off guard again this year. Standing in the card section at a local store, picking out beautiful cards for wonderful women in our life that I DO want to celebrate and then here it comes again…the feeling of being punched in the stomach because of the intense longing of wishing I could once again celebrate with my mom. The tears welled up, no matter how much I told myself “I will not cry in the middle of Walmart!”. Oh how I miss my mom! I look quickly around me to see if anyone has noticed my struggle…and then it hits me…how many other people, standing close by looking through the Mother’s Day cards are struggling to keep their feelings concealed too? Who else is hurting because that special someone is no longer around to celebrate? Who is heartbroken over wanting to be a mother, but that isn’t possible for them? Who might be right beside me that has lost a child? Who might not have a happy relationship with their children or their mother? I used to feel like there was something wrong with me because for a few years I hated…yes, hated…Mother’s Day. But I’m realizing again that it is a hard holiday for many people. I have many wonderful memories of Mother’s Day with my mom…picking a bunch of lilacs from our bush for her, making homemade cards, trying to serve her breakfast in bed, dandelion bouquets… And I have been blessed with 4 amazing children myself. I found it helped me today to walk through the flowers and remember how much my mom enjoyed them, pansies being one of her favorites. And so I just want to say, if you see someone tomorrow that is sad or more quiet than usual, please be kind. They may be dealing with a pain that they don’t talk about. And if Mother’s Day brings you sadness, you are not alone and you are not broken…and I will be saying a prayer for comfort for you. Much love to all of you!